Thursday, February 15, 2007

Fear

Ok, I've been thinking about fear a lot since I joined the EDM group. Trying to figure out what I am so afraid of. And to tell the truth, I'm not really sure I want to say it out loud. My style is photorealism, something that I just happened to fall into. The art that I like when I'm looking to buy is impressionistic. But, I fell into the photorealism because it comes easy to me. I'm detail oriented. But, what tends to happen is I get lost in the detail. I always begin thinking that this time I'll loosen up. Maybe I won't fill in the whole sketch, maybe I'll leave this corner clean, undrawn. But, good intentions, I always end up drawing every little fiber of rope, every little hair on the face, every grain in the wood door. *sigh* So, what I'm afraid of is creating something so completley different from what I do now? No. Because when I sat down to do the pastel last night, that's not what happened. I was critical because it didn't look realistic enough! Catch 22. Why do I want to loosen up if photorealism comes to me so easily? Because of the comments I've heard. And believe me when I say I don't really care what people say about me. I know I'm a good person and all that psychobabble, but to some extent there is a point to the comment, why not just take a photograph? I've thought about it myself. I feel like if I didn't have that point of the pencil to work with, I would loosen up. I want to do rough pastels that turn out looking like a Monet. I like my colored pencils because even though I do the same photorealism, they come out looking entirely different than my black & whites. Sometimes even a little more stylized. But, this is the plan for today... take my son to his driver's ed class (yeah, I know! YIKES! and this is the youngest one, too! Not feeling old yet, tho) then come back here and spend a good hour working on the scissors drawing. And if there is time, I'm going outside and sketch my raised bed where my iris' are coming up. I want to sketch them every week as they progress to the final flowering. Then maybe I'll do a series, never did one of those before. Changing is hard, but exciting, too. I'm wondering now if the excitement will conquer the fear enough so that I can create without anxiety. We'll see what the outcome is tomorrow. Abayo

2 comments:

Felicity said...

Sherrie, the photorealism thing goes around and around in my head too but to turn this argument on it's head - why do we feel this pressure to loosen up? Do you ever hear anyone saying they should add more detail? After years of beating myself up, I can't give up doing details because I have only one life and my mission is to see it exactly as it is, not to miss anything, to enjoy and explore what nature and life is about and try and find out as much as I can. Personally I don't see life as a fuzzy mass of gorgeous colours (nothing wrong with that) but I do love the art that others can make and I am able to enjoy it. The style I admire doesn't come easily to me so I leave it to them. So the result of my art may not always please me (I draw in pencil) but the process is absolutely essential. Maybe the loose style IS for you, but don't beat yourself up if you don't conform to today's fashion. Your art is wonderful to look at, if it comes from the heart, that is what matters.

Susan Hosken said...

I am new to drawing and just discovering my style. I am finding it a fascinating journey. My style is very simple and naive but also has elements of an interest in clean line and then I am also exploring other expressions. I think the most important thing is to enjoy what you do. If you enjoy photorealism then do it ...if you want to loosen up...loosen up...with joy and adventure.
Enjoy the journey
Lots of love from Susan in Australia